Expressions

The letters curved themselves
upon the blank white paper
and went to sleep.

Time froze upon the layers
of dust on the old table.

Wind was trapped in the leaves
of the fan.

Some thoughts ran wildly
from the tip of the pen,
Piercing through the calm
of the closed books.

A voice demanded to be heard,
A face wanted recognition.

Everyone - smug, trapped or awakened,
Strives to earn their place.

Come, join the rank.

To do: Separation

The depth of pain,
unmeasured,
falls short of your expectations.

Life's colour is lost,
and you still search for shades.

One change tore me apart,
and your 'to-do' list is long.

I stood on the river bank,
Too lost for words,
Longing for a ride across.

A wish evaporated from my body
And touched the skies.

As if in assurance,
A drop of rain fell on my cheeks -
And I opened my eyes,
To be engulfed in a downpour.

Drenched throughout,
I sought a shelter.
Under every tree and in every house,
I thought I saw you,
arms outstretched.

I closed my eyes again,
and the Sun came high up.
He embraced my curves lustily,
and I closed my eyes,
as he warmed up each pore on my skin.

In the blindness of shut eyes,
I saw your face again.
That smile of affection,
Those naughty eyes,
The gentle blush of perfection.

I walked away,
down the dirty tarred roads
Along rows of shabby houses
with screaming infants
and peeing toddlers.

I clutched my bag in fear,
I quickened my steps.

Was someone following me?

It was your face again,
Hopeful,
Smiling,
Your hands clutching that 'to-do' list.

I strive to blot you out.
I scream out in pain.
I faint.

In the recesses of the subconscious,
I've buried you.
And you chase my conscious every moment.
Repression fails,
and my soul almost scorches itself.

Darling,
do not try to separate you from me.

Crumbling

The soul,
Shredded,
Fell apart from me.
I stood,
Staring,
Helpless as it scattered away.

The wind was strong,
My will all gone,
And the soul
Too light to hold on.

My body,
like an ancient ruin,
Stood soul-less and grave.
I watched,
as I withered away
and crumbled into oblivion.

Another leaf
from the giant Banyan
Succumbed.

Worship

I.
My body is a temple
You are my idol.

My soul, an offering at your feet.

I welcome your worshippers
with divine charity;
I elevate myself through your service.

The unspoken and the unspeakable
Cloud my life.
I offer everything unto you.

They touch me,
Grope around my curves,
Squeeze my flesh lustily.

They worship you,
and hungrily devour me - your prasada.

They melt in me,
And I, in you.

Take me higher,
show me my Paramatman.

II. (May 19, 2010)
Men offer their prayers at my shrine
And move on, not thine nor mine;
They wash their faces in my tears,
Their lips speak all my fears,
Their prayers tainted by lust,
They mutter and mumble and lazily chant.

I wonder at their farce,
I cringe as they touch me -
their vulgar fingers coated with greed,
I laugh that I am their deity
I cry about all lack of piety.

A little temple, a little idol,
A little unknown and yet sought after,
I seek those days of total anonymity
I wish I had a mortal death, a bout of insanity.