Rabba…

Tired and loveless
Is not what I want to feel.

I thought I was stronger,
I could stand a little longer,
But the feet give away,
And the heart takes time to heal.

I walk the lonely shores,
As the fishermen wind up their chores,
The sun sets in the horizon,
And the world seems all right.

But my mind is a flood of thoughts,
Like a basin full of clanging pans and pots,
And I hate being so ruffled
Over what I thought I conquered.

Nothing saps the brain more
Than loneliness after a phase of cheer.
A Bollywood song runs in my mind,
"Aaye jo koi to kabhi jaye na rabba",
And when I look up at Him,
He seems to be hiding in the dark clouds.

Random

I thought I should write
Of boardrooms and fright;
Of bleeding hearts as ever,
Or people's repartees so clever.

But all I can think now
Is of that fluttering glow;
A thought as sad as me,
An emotion that wants to be free.

The fact that I could be a loser,
A foreboding of a tragic fate;
A beggar, not a chooser,
A matter of eternal debate.

A giving heart, a hoping heart,
A burdened heart, an eager heart;
And a little brains to know
That you're not always meant to be so.

Time is the best healer,
And I need lots of it,
A sense that all's not ended,
And there's a way around the bend...

Healing

Blisters of a rotten love
Pierce the skin,
Shear through the heart.

I lie,
Sick and tired,
Waiting for the pain to fade away
Under an aceclofenac's influence.

A certain numbness saves the heart
From shedding a lava of pain
Through the eyes.

The wounds will heal, no doubt,
The pain will subside quite fast too.

But a scar will remain
Deep in that area,
Where I saved your memories and worshipped them.

I shall make sure you don't see it,
Because I know it pains you too.

While I try to move on,
Away from the dreams we shared,
and the hopes I cultured,
You shall be getting used to a new life.

My love,
Remember me in those dark dreams
that you're scared to share with anyone.
Keep me in those secrets you would only whisper to yourself.
I shall find my solace in them.

Move on

I loved once, I loved often,
but never so deep as now;
And then I lose him to the winds,
so I look for love again...

The sands on the shore never dry,
The river never seems to cry;
I talk to them and they tell me,
Some emotions are expressed in vain.

If life is all about moving on,
Why should I stay and mourn?
A phase ends and starts again,
And your life's no blemish, no stain.

Expressions

The letters curved themselves
upon the blank white paper
and went to sleep.

Time froze upon the layers
of dust on the old table.

Wind was trapped in the leaves
of the fan.

Some thoughts ran wildly
from the tip of the pen,
Piercing through the calm
of the closed books.

A voice demanded to be heard,
A face wanted recognition.

Everyone - smug, trapped or awakened,
Strives to earn their place.

Come, join the rank.

To do: Separation

The depth of pain,
unmeasured,
falls short of your expectations.

Life's colour is lost,
and you still search for shades.

One change tore me apart,
and your 'to-do' list is long.

I stood on the river bank,
Too lost for words,
Longing for a ride across.

A wish evaporated from my body
And touched the skies.

As if in assurance,
A drop of rain fell on my cheeks -
And I opened my eyes,
To be engulfed in a downpour.

Drenched throughout,
I sought a shelter.
Under every tree and in every house,
I thought I saw you,
arms outstretched.

I closed my eyes again,
and the Sun came high up.
He embraced my curves lustily,
and I closed my eyes,
as he warmed up each pore on my skin.

In the blindness of shut eyes,
I saw your face again.
That smile of affection,
Those naughty eyes,
The gentle blush of perfection.

I walked away,
down the dirty tarred roads
Along rows of shabby houses
with screaming infants
and peeing toddlers.

I clutched my bag in fear,
I quickened my steps.

Was someone following me?

It was your face again,
Hopeful,
Smiling,
Your hands clutching that 'to-do' list.

I strive to blot you out.
I scream out in pain.
I faint.

In the recesses of the subconscious,
I've buried you.
And you chase my conscious every moment.
Repression fails,
and my soul almost scorches itself.

Darling,
do not try to separate you from me.